bicyklette.

tonight.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:18:00 -0500

do you ever just wake up one day and want to start living your life again? you sit and you think hard - you start telling yourself “but I am living my life… things just take time and I am on my way” - good. I say good to people who tell themselves that.

but, are you happy?

I remember being driven home from basketball practice in grade 8. it was late in november and Shawn Mullins Lullaby song was playing on the radio. and I remember that night that I loved life. nothing crazy happened. but everything was spectacular. and it’s not that things aren’t spectacular now… it’s that I am not noticing how spectacular things are. it is almost like i’ve built my own wall. i’ve told myself that i have to act as others who act professional. i have to brush my hair and smile. i have to be conventional. i have to like others that are liked. i follow - then lead like those who i’ve followed.

mmmm.. maybe i’m always wrong. i wake up on wednesdays and want to tell everyone how amazing i’ve realized my life is. there are people i’ve met in the past 3 months who have stolen my heart. i still get that feeling. i got the chance to still get that feeling. i get to colaborate. i get to share with amazing people…. the gift of teaching. talking about teaching! teaching about teaching! complaining about stupid ass shit, singing disney songs off-beat and off-tune with the wrong words and we ain’t givin’ a fug. all because i woke up today and wanted to love the life i was living. nothing crazy happened. but everything was spectacular. today.

goodnight.

going through old photos.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:02:10 -0500

going through old photos.

im no photographer. je ne suis pas photographe.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:36:26 -0500

im no photographer.

je ne suis pas photographe.

I love when my tumblarity gets to one.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:34:51 -0500

only 7 tests left this week….. jealous?

On tonight’s plate:
- g-maw’s chili.. it is so delicious
- french studyin’…. oooh french studyin’
- twilight reading? me thinks: yes

I can’t believe I only have one week left until school is over! Well… that’s not technically true, as I have three weeks of teaching ahead of me after that. BUT it’ll be bodacious! Sixteen little 10-year olds getting excited for CHRISTMAS BREAK. Me getting excited for CHRISTMAS BREAK! Thinking of what to buy everyone… even my Secret little elfster. Hmmm… I think in December I will watch Christmas movies everyday.

Oh, that just reminded me.. I need to download the ELF Soundtrack. Watched it this weekend… it was a goodie. Yes, a goodie.

Bon, puisque j’étudie pour Français je devrais peut être faire un petit poste en français aussi. Quatres jours en classe de reste et je fais ma transition d’étudiante VERS ENSEIGNANTE. Je suis excitée en masse. Aujourd’hui j’ai su que j’ai passé mon cours de compétence linguistique et je pourrais maintenant rester calme car j’ai réussi tous les critères (sauf les classes c’est sûre) pour pouvoir devenir enseignante. Wow, le 23 novembre - que tu es un beau cadeau.

Alors je vous laisse mon chers amis… je vous aimes énormément xoxo

from Renelle xARRAx

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:34:14 -0500

from Renelle xARRAx

why do I love fart jokes so much (taken from Blair K)

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:07:08 -0500

why do I love fart jokes so much (taken from Blair K)

hey ke-voo. it was dark but this is all i gots.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:30:53 -0500

hey ke-voo. it was dark but this is all i gots.

What is it? And on which page.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:13:58 -0500

I’m not sure if I can tell you what it is. I am not sure if I can really give you anything. I can say that you are on my mind. You’re there when there’s a shooting star- the longest one, the one that streaks across the sky. You are there when we’re going down. You are there when nothing’s there.

Do I see you when we’re on the bridge? Your hair and your hands, oh yes I do. I can lay down and die for you. I still can. I can pretend I’m understanding and that I know what’s going on. I can compete with you. I can laugh and I can cry for you. I can be a shitty Bon Jovi song for you. I can be everything for you - or I can be what I always was: some sort of screw up. A screw up that gets up; a screw up that shuts up. I’m a screw up that screws up and then tries to fix it. I’m a memory murderer. I’m a writer-downer. Oh, and sometimes I’m just a downer. I’m a shaker. I’m not forever and I remembered, again, that I’m only a tiny spec on a tiny spec of history and I’m here to keep spec’in’ around.

That’s what’s going on at the moment. Goodnight.

doin’ it like Miley

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:01:58 -0500

doin’ it like Miley

for kevin…. and all those that love Beauty and the Beast

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:31:57 -0500

for kevin…. and all those that love Beauty and the Beast

Photo

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:15:38 -0500

not real.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:33:28 -0500

hi. english one.

not anything out of the ordinary. not anything special. not anything expired. not anything complete really. not.
still trying to figure out how they are so miserable. are they tired? i can’t answer their questions, just take their work and smile and say thank you. i will do it and i can do it and i want to tell everyone that i know and that i believe in that they can do it.

hey, you can fucking do it. i believe in you.
is it really my fault that i know geniuses - beautiful, memorable geniuses? i have one’s hand drawn face on my wall - and it’s crying. i have pictures and memories in boxes. i have things i should get rid of and i have things i should put away.

if i look at something that should mean something to me, but doesn’t - does that mean I’m over it or that I can’t put my feelings together? because there are some times where i can remember every single thing that’s happened just to date. i like when this happens because i can sort my years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds. i like sorting them until i forget.

goodnight. je vous aime mes amis x

méa

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:26:00 -0400

méa

Samedi soir.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:20:22 -0400

J’aurai de la misère à mettre en mots ce que je veux dire. J’aime écrire en anglais. J’ai un style qui me suit. Écrire de la même manière en français me fait .. sembler.. plate? C’est comme je n’ai pas de style. Je ne suis pas drôle. Je ne suis pas ouverte .. mais je suis directe. Mes mains sont chaud. Je reste à la maison la plupart du temps. Je joue avec des photos après que je les prends. Je veux prendre des centaines de photos. J’adore les photos. J’adore les boites.

Ce qui ce passe: la panique. La panique est partout. Le grippe, un fièvre et ses deux parents sont à l’hôpitale. Personne parle des choses qui se passe à tous les jours. Un lait au chocolat est commandé habituellement PLUS qu’un lait blanc. Les personnes n’aiment pas qu’on laisse passer par en avant des gens dans une ligne. Wal-Mart n’a jamais assez de cassières? …. Caissières? Je n’ai pas le temps de vérifier les mots sur un site web.

Pourquoi est-ce que j’ai si de temps. Je me suis retrouvée dans la cuisine en train de lire les instructions sur les boites en français pour ne pas perdre la langue que j’essaye de pouvoir enseigner pour le restant de ma vie.

Je commence à m’habituer… mais je ferai d’autres GRANDES efforts dans les jours à suivre.

Je te souhaite JOYEUSE Halloween……… soye personelle je pense…. je pense.

Je t’aime.

Ma vie comme enseignante.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:08:10 -0400

J’adore ça tout de suite. Je fais des sacs d’Halloween! Les élèves ne m’écoutent pas vraiment. Ils s’essayent mais j’essayera de mon mieu de leurs gérer. J’écrirai en français pour les prochaines postes puisque je dois m’améliorer en français. J’ai beaucoup de misère mais j’aime ça…. un défi.

Photo

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:26:29 -0400

everyone was frowning

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:25:00 -0400

Don’t walk through the crowd with your head held high when you have all the power. Show your humility - I will only learn from you then. I think you are brilliant, but everyone has pegged you as a jack ass. I’m sorry I can’t fight all or any of your battles. No battle.

I love being called mademoiselle. I effing love it. I like being called anything but my name because I think it’s fine. When I’m called by my name it’s serious. When you’re being serious with me, I ask myself why. Don’t confuse me.

—
School was nice today. I didn’t fail a test, I got big pieces from the pizza, I saw true sincerity from a beauty while another beauty gave me gold from within. There are stories everywhere and I am getting luckier and luckier.

I painted my nails and got half of it on my fingers. Round 2 in the morning.

Je vous aime.

Once.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:18:33 -0400

Once.

If you like chocolate and want it forever - sign up.

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:15:41 -0400

If you like chocolate and want it forever - sign up.

When is read and not red.

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:12:49 -0400

There was something beautiful in a very tangy bathroom today.
There is something tangy about my bedroom tonight.
I need to brush my teeth.
I need to brush up on a lot.

I enjoyed every single second with you. The lights, the naps and the times I ignored you. I enjoyed the highway and your sister. I enjoy the feeling and the fact that it’s repeating itself. I can have it now and I will have it later. I see the lights dimming. It’s happening all over again. It’s circular and I want some tea. It was all for you. It doesn’t go to show.

People are starving and joining the club. Why am I here while people are starving? What happened to the truck with the missing windshield? Why aren’t there quizzes on the side of the highway? Why does my grandfather have a point? Why can’t I be okay with what is going on? Are you on something? Where did the tables go? Why did you pull my mother over? Why don’t you love the snow? Why can’t I get the last word in? How come I don’t own a hole punch? How come only a few ask themselves questions? How come some people never learn?

I never enjoyed writing newspaper articles in school. I’m a little upset I have to teach them. I suspect I’ll enjoy teaching it once I see students writing them and enjoying it.

Short week. Here we go.