I’m not sure if I can tell you what it is. I am not sure if I can really give you anything. I can say that you are on my mind. You’re there when there’s a shooting star- the longest one, the one that streaks across the sky. You are there when we’re going down. You are there when nothing’s there.

Do I see you when we’re on the bridge? Your hair and your hands, oh yes I do. I can lay down and die for you. I still can. I can pretend I’m understanding and that I know what’s going on. I can compete with you. I can laugh and I can cry for you. I can be a shitty Bon Jovi song for you. I can be everything for you - or I can be what I always was: some sort of screw up. A screw up that gets up; a screw up that shuts up. I’m a screw up that screws up and then tries to fix it. I’m a memory murderer. I’m a writer-downer. Oh, and sometimes I’m just a downer. I’m a shaker. I’m not forever and I remembered, again, that I’m only a tiny spec on a tiny spec of history and I’m here to keep spec’in’ around.

That’s what’s going on at the moment. Goodnight.

hi. english one.

not anything out of the ordinary. not anything special. not anything expired. not anything complete really. not.
still trying to figure out how they are so miserable. are they tired? i can’t answer their questions, just take their work and smile and say thank you. i will do it and i can do it and i want to tell everyone that i know and that i believe in that they can do it.

hey, you can fucking do it. i believe in you.
is it really my fault that i know geniuses - beautiful, memorable geniuses? i have one’s hand drawn face on my wall - and it’s crying. i have pictures and memories in boxes. i have things i should get rid of and i have things i should put away.

if i look at something that should mean something to me, but doesn’t - does that mean I’m over it or that I can’t put my feelings together? because there are some times where i can remember every single thing that’s happened just to date. i like when this happens because i can sort my years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds. i like sorting them until i forget.

goodnight. je vous aime mes amis x

J’aurai de la misère à mettre en mots ce que je veux dire. J’aime écrire en anglais. J’ai un style qui me suit. Écrire de la même manière en français me fait .. sembler.. plate? C’est comme je n’ai pas de style. Je ne suis pas drôle. Je ne suis pas ouverte .. mais je suis directe. Mes mains sont chaud. Je reste à la maison la plupart du temps. Je joue avec des photos après que je les prends. Je veux prendre des centaines de photos. J’adore les photos. J’adore les boites.

Ce qui ce passe: la panique. La panique est partout. Le grippe, un fièvre et ses deux parents sont à l’hôpitale. Personne parle des choses qui se passe à tous les jours. Un lait au chocolat est commandé habituellement PLUS qu’un lait blanc. Les personnes n’aiment pas qu’on laisse passer par en avant des gens dans une ligne. Wal-Mart n’a jamais assez de cassières? …. Caissières? Je n’ai pas le temps de vérifier les mots sur un site web.

Pourquoi est-ce que j’ai si de temps. Je me suis retrouvée dans la cuisine en train de lire les instructions sur les boites en français pour ne pas perdre la langue que j’essaye de pouvoir enseigner pour le restant de ma vie.

Je commence à m’habituer… mais je ferai d’autres GRANDES efforts dans les jours à suivre.

Je te souhaite JOYEUSE Halloween……… soye personelle je pense…. je pense.

Je t’aime.